Not Exactly Happily Ever After
by be-heard
Summary: The war ended last week, but not without casualties. Hermione has a hard time coping, especially since a certain boy has been ignoring her. Rated T for death and violence. Written last year, before book 7 came out, so it's different from the book.


_Hermione was locked in battle with the werewolf Greyback. Spells were flying through the air, half of them shouted, the rest nonverbal, to surprise the enemy. She was trying to stay far enough away from her opponent to avoid a quick bite. There had been several near misses. Hermione's heart was pounding fast and adrenaline raced through her bloodstream._

_She still heard the reassuring sound of Ron shouting spells a few yards away. He was fighting with a masked death eater who only used nonverbal spells. A large portion of the spells sent at Ron were green light. Every time Hermione saw that bright flash near her, she glanced over to make sure Ron was still standing. Once, she paid for her lapse in concentration and was hit on the shoulder with a curse that felt like a knife had cut her skin. Thankfully it wasn't her wand arm or she wouldn't have been able to duel properly as a result of the pain. She felt blood dripping down from her injury, but had no time to check the damage._

_Hermione heard a falling body behind her, and turned to see Ron standing over the fallen death eater, whose mask had fallen off. It was Lucius Malfoy. Hermione couldn't tell if he was dead or not. She felt the whoosh of a badly aimed spell going past her, and turned to face Greyback once more._

_The werewolf was much closer to her now, and his mouth was open, teeth gleaming. He lunged at Hermione, who had almost no time to react. She put her hands up defensively in front of her face and heard a soft thump as something hit the ground._

_She lowered her hands to see Ron lowering his wand and Greyback dead at her feet. Hermione opened her mouth to thank Ron, but at that point all battles were interrupted by a huge explosion from the point that Harry had been battling Voldemort. Hermione felt herself being pushed to the ground by the force of the explosion. She met the ground quickly and covered her head with her arms, waiting for it to end._

_Then there was silence She raised her head off the ground to see the mounds on the grass that were fallen people. She couldn't tell who was still living._

_"Ron?" she called out hesitantly_

_There was no answer. She crawled over to where he lay on the ground and felt his wrist. She heaved a sigh of relief once she found a pulse._

_Pointing her wand at Ron, she said "Ennervate."_

_His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her. Neither said anything, both basking in the happy feeling that the other was alive. Ron pushed himself up to a sitting position and looked around._

_"Where's Harry?" he asked_

_Hermione scanned the ground to see moving figures, but none of them had a mop of messy black hair. By the time she turned back to face Ron, he was already on his feet, offering her a hand up, which she gratefully accepted. She grasped his hand with her left and a searing pain shot up her arm. She gasped and recoiled._

_Ron knelt down next to her. "Hermione, what's wrong?" she could see the worry in his face_

_"Nothing," she told him "It's nothing."_

_She stood up and he followed, walking toward the site of the explosion. As they drew closer, they could see two bodies on the group. Neither was moving and Ron and Hermione broke into a run, seeing Harry. They both kneeled next to their best friend, each picking up one of his hands._

_There was a faint pulse, and he blearily opened one eye to look at them. A small smile crossed his battle-scarred face._

_"We won." he whispered_

_Hermione's lip trembled as she tried not to cry. To distract herself, she stared rubbing small circles on the back of Harry's hand. A single tear slid down her face as Harry squeezed her hand and his eyes closed._

* * *

That had been only a week ago. They hadn't even held the funeral yet. Hermione remembered how she had held Ron and sobbed that day, her eyes becoming red and puffy and her voice sore. He had eventually pulled her to her feet to search for the rest of the living, both she and Ron stumbling blindly through their tears.

Now Hermione tried to block out those painful memories such as Ron finding Bill dead and Ginny's reaction when they told her what had happened.

Hermione also tried to forget how distant Ron had been all week. She was hoping that the war would have opened his eyes to the fact that life is short and you never know how much time you had left. She was hoping that he would have been her one shining light in all this darkness. She was hoping that maybe he did love her after all. That would have made life after the war bearable.

Now she sat on the closed lid of a toilet seat, sitting across from a sink, razor in hand. Though the summer was scorching, she wore heavy pants and a long-sleeved shirt. After the war, she was so numb that it chilled her.

She rolled up her sleeves to her elbows, and sat forward, closer to the sink, resting her forearms on the hard surface. She put the blade to her wrist, applied some pressure and slowly pulled it across her skin. She bit her lip from the pain, willing herself not to make any noise. She didn't want to be found.

She moved the razor about an inch up her arm and made a second cut, this time drawing the blade quickly against her skin. She welcomed the pain. It kept her from feeling so numb.

She transferred the razor into the other hand and brought it her other wrist, pressing harder this time. She leaned forward so the blood flowed into the sink. She could feel the cuts throbbing with her pulse. Making the second cut on her other arm, she cried out. To her own ears, it didn't seem very loud, and she jumped, almost dropping the razor when someone knocked on the door.

"Hello?" a voice called from outside

Hermione tensed up, trying not to make the tiniest sound. She leaned forward to balance her forehead against the front of the sink. The razor slid from her hand, hitting the floor. The sound echoed through the bathroom.

The doorknob turned and the door slowly creaked open.

"Oh my god, Hermione!"

She heard pounding feet running towards her and felt a hand press to her chest to check for a heart beat. She saw Ron, but didn't react, even as he pulled her off the closed toilet seat so he could get her closer to the sink. He turned the knob and water gushed out of the faucet.

He grabbed one of Hermione's arms above the cuts and brought her wounds under the water. She cried out in pain as the water came in contact with her cuts.

Ron put a steadying hand on her back and rubbed soothingly with his thumb. He released one of her arms to wash the other, bringing it under the water. Again she cried out as the blast hit her arm. Ron looked as though he was in pain too. He turned off the water and reached for a towel.

Ron sat down on the lid of the toilet and pulled Hermione onto his lap, her head sagging onto his shoulder like a rag doll. She felt him press the towel to her wrist and bit her lip the keep from screaming. She heard him muttering a spell and felt the wound close. He repeated this for the other arm then he put the towel down and put both arms around Hermione.

She felt him rocking her slowly back and forth, but it was a minute before she noticed his tears dripping onto the back of her neck.

"What would I do if I lost you, Hermione?" he said shakily

"You should be used to loosing friends." Hermione whispered feebly

She felt the pressure of his hands on her shoulders and he pushed her slightly away from his body so he could see her face.

"You couldn't do that to me." said Ron. Hermione saw a couple tears slid down his already-wet face. "I'd be lost without you."

"You've been fine without me the past week." she complained softly

"I needed my space to grieve." admitted Ron "I don't like people seeing me cry."

Hermione reached up and wiped a few tears from Ron's face.

"I also need some time to think." said Ron

"About what?"

"About you." he replied

"Me?" she asked disbelievingly

Ron nodded. "I was thinking about us being more than friends." he paused, seeing that Hermione's eyes had welled up. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "Don't stop talking." she urged.

"I love you." he said

She put her arms around him and whispered in his ear, "I love you, too."

She felt a hand around her wrist, pulling slightly away from Ron. She felt a cool substance being slipped over her finger, and when Ron released her hand, she saw a small ring around her finger.

"Will you marry me?" he whispered in her ear

She sat up to look at him.

"Ron, we're so young." She paused, thinking "And we have no plans. Where would be live?"

"I'll make you a deal." said Ron, smiling "We'll just date for a year, wait for everything to get back to normal, make plans. Then I'll ask you again."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

When they broke apart, she told him "And in a year, I'll say yes."


End file.
